Divorce Recovery:How to get over the cheater. Part 1


Photograph: Ace Stock Ltd/Alamy

How many women out there are trying to work things out, trying desperately to keep the family together and then the bomb shell. There’s another woman!

To make things worse your man might even be telling you how he likes you and what a great Mum you are, then here comes the…BUT,  I’m not in love with you anymore…

Here are three excerpts from men who were leaving their wives for another woman.

  • “In the end, it’s all about ego, I suppose. I’m not sure I ever was in love with my wife the way I should have been. I thought married love was something different.”
  • “We had very little sexual chemistry if any, and I often lied about how attracted I was to her because I didn’t want her to feel bad.”
  • “I met someone with whom I had real sexual chemistry and it became clear very quickly that I was with the wrong woman.  I don’t resent my wife, but I do want to move on so that I can be with a person with whom I have something that is satisfying.”

A very good friend of mine (a guy) once said; “A man has only enough blood for his brain or his Penis, but never both together” With these excuses above that seems to make sense.

Hmmm… However I see something deeper here, everything in our personal world revolves around the ego. Which I will go into more detail in Part 2 of this series.

  1. “In the end it’s all about ego”  “I thought married love was something different.”
  2. “We had very little sexual chemistry” “I often lied”
  3. “I met someone with whom I had real sexual chemistry”  “I can be with a person with whom I have something that is satisfying.”

If these are the reasons for giving up on a marriage, and where there are probably young children involved, being dumped is devastating to say the least.  What usually happens is we allow our self-esteem to get so tied up in what other people think, especially our spouse. We start to question and ask ourselves, “where did I go wrong?” and if that’s the case STOP NOW!

Let me explain. I believe that any marriage that is seemingly coming to an end, then everyone has to look at what their part was in the resulting breakup and stop blaming the other. This is best done with guidance and neutrality with a qualified counsellor. That’s if you both really want to stay together and make it work. If you have both decided that breaking up is the best for you both, it’s still a good idea to go through the process of ‘finding out’ what your part was in the break up.

I’ve seen it happen, that when a couple or just one of them has gone through this process, they have fallen in love again and their partner has ‘changed’ accordingly.

At the very least each has come to know a little more about her/himself and are able to form a better relationship next time, with a new partner.

It’s true to say though, that when the wife is dumped suddenly, it’s usually because of another woman. A man very rarely leaves the nest unless there is someone else to go to. So  in my next post. we’ll take a look at EGO. How to get over the Cheater: Part ii.

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About Tovah

Certified Substance Abuse and Addictions Professional, (CASAP) Although retired I still do voluntary work in my profession. For many years I've been a natural health enthusiast, using natural remedies and eating healthy natural organic food. I'd like to share some of my experiences about growing Organic Vegetables in small spaces, indoors and out.
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1 Response to Divorce Recovery:How to get over the cheater. Part 1

  1. Pingback: Divorce Recovery: How To Get Over The Cheater Love and Sex. Part 3 | Divorce Recovery Solutions

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