Are you respected as a woman? Self Esteem
I think this says it all, don’t you think?
The question is, how much do you respect yourself to accept the respect given to you?
Yes this is a serious question and I ask it because I have come across many women who, have without realising it, have a feeling of such low self-worth, that even when they are given the love and respect they deserve, they can’t accept it.
Another word for ‘self worth’ is self-esteem. Which is how we judge ourselves . That is, a positive or negative concept of how we see ourselves.
If we give ourselves a score of 1 to 10 about anything we might do, a person with low self-esteem will usually judge him/herself under the score of five.
SELF ESTEEM IS:
- A disposition that a person has which represents their judgements of their own worthiness.
- The experience of not being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and being worthy of happiness.
- The sum of self-confidence (a feeling of personal capacity) and self-respect (a feeling of personal worth).
- It exists as a consequence of the implicit judgement that every person has of their ability to face life’s challenges, to understand and solve problems, and their right to achieve happiness and be given respect.
- The importance of self-esteem lies in the fact that it concerns the way we are and the sense of our personal value. It affects the way we are and act in the world and the way we are related to by everybody else
- Nothing in the way we think, feel, decide and act escapes the subconscious influence of self-esteem.
How might a low self-esteem translate in our everyday life.
- You can become a doormat for your family and friends.
- You have few boundaries. e.g feeling that everyone needs to know your secrets. (Needs validation)
- Go to extremes to please others. (People pleasing)
- Forego your own time and pleasures to fall in with significant others. (Don’t deserve to have my needs met)
- Difficult to make a simple decision. ( Fear of making a mistake.)
- Hypersensitive of others criticizing. (This is extremely devastating to you. You have enough criticism from yourself)
- Afraid of voicing your own opinions. (Might lead to that awful criticism)
- Self criticism & dissatisfaction. (Perfection, leading to frustration when perfection is not achieved.)
- Guilt: Dwelling on/and or exaggerating the size of past mistakes (Fear of what others might think)
- Pessimistic outlook. (Seeing temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions.)
- Envious of others. (Leading to resentment)
In my blog: Have you been married to a Narcissist I talk about the character traits of Narcissism. Don’t confuse this with High or Low Self-Esteem. Narcissism is a disposition that represents a person’s love of oneself. It is characterized by an inflated view of self-worth. Individuals who score high on Narcissism measures, Robert Raskin’s 40 Item True or False Test, would likely select true to such statements as “If I ruled the world, it would be a much better place”.
There is only a moderate correlation between narcissism and self-esteem; that is to say that an individual can have high self-esteem but low narcissism or he might be a conceited, obnoxious person and score high self-esteem and high narcissism.
This is one of my favourite quotes
“You are in charge of your feelings, beliefs, and actions. And YOU teach others how to behave toward you.
While you cannot change other people, you can influence them through your own behaviours and action.
By being a living role model of what you want to receive from others, you create more of what you want in your life.
~♥ Eric Allenbaugh